Reasons and Excuses

As I have worked through my day, reading and listening to clients, colleagues and others tell me their reasons why various things have not been accomplished over the past week, month, or year, I have arrived at a state of profound gratitude.

As it happens, I have not made an entry in my blog in almost two months. There is no good reason for this; I simply have not done it. I am neither proud nor ashamed of this fact. I have two months of incontrovertible evidence that writing in my blog has not been my highest priority, and that's that.

Some of those who have shared their stories with me have been considerably less lucky. A few have been extremely ill or had family members who were ill. One has wrecked her car. Another, due to circumstances genuinely outside his control, had to file for bankruptcy for his business in order to protect his personal assets and his clients' interests. While these friends have my sympathy, their stories have also made me deeply grateful to have no good reason for anything I have not achieved in the last two months!

Someone once said, "if everyone put their troubles in a great big pile for all to see, each of us would gladly grab back our own."

One of the challenges of coaching is to understand when a client's reason is a reason, and when it's an excuse. Sometimes it doesn't matter -- while a situation may not be your fault, it is nevertheless your problem and must be resolved in any case. In almost every case, there is a lesson that can be learned. Character traits like patience, determination, honesty, resolve and humility offer themselves for adoption when we fail to achieve a goal or complete a task.

Take out an undone thing in your life and set it on the table for examination today. Ask yourself why it's not done -- not in a judgmental way, but with an attitude of genuine curiosity. What lesson lies in the un-doneness of this item? What would need to change in order for you to check it off your list? So what if you do, and so what if you don't? How long has it been languishing, and how much longer do you think it might have to wait? Is there something about this task that you are avoiding or dreading? Is there anything about the circumstances of the task that you are pretending not to know? What is this situation trying to tell you about yourself?

I'd love to hear what you learn!

Spring Cleaning

The idea of "spring cleaning" - embracing a fresh warm day by throwing the windows open and banishing winter's dust bunnies from the corners of your house - is inspiring and refreshing.  I hope you participate in this annual ritual, taking advantage of the opportunity to purge from your life any dust, dirt, or detritus that you no longer need.

As you take on the physical task, though, I also invite you to spring clean your brain.  Mental cobwebs are as bad or worse than household ones, and they too deserve your attention.  Take a moment to reflect on your current attitudes.  What are you putting up with that is holding you back?  Are you succumbing to the poison of the daily headlines, or worse yet, "These Economic Times(TM)"?  (Are you as sick to death of that phrase as I am?)  Is there a dingy layer of negative attitudes, about your abilities, your job, or your health, polluting your brain and turning your gray matter black?  If so, are you working consciously to shine it up, or are you making excuses for why you aren't getting the results you want?

I recently read something from a colleague of mine that I thought was absolutely inspired.  She asked, "if you argue for your excuses, what do you get when you win?"  If I had to bet on it, I would bet that whatever you're winning isn't anything you really want to keep.

So go ahead and chase the skeletons out of your mental closet, and replace them with the bright light of inspiration and the colors of creativity.  Choose mantras, affirmations, or quotes that reflect the way you want the world to be.  Set a goal.  It doesn't have to be a huge one; just something you know you can do this weekend, or by next Friday, or by the end of the month, that will make your world more like you want it to be.  Use that small goal to build your confidence in your ability to achieve results, and set another one as soon as you have accomplished the first one.  Sometimes spring cleaning has to happen one room at a time, and that's okay -- as long as you start!

As for myself, well, I don't do windows, but I can help you set and achieve WAY-SMART goals.  Give me a call if I can help!

Resolution vs. Strategy

It's that time of year again - when many of us make a "New Year's Resolution."  I bet you've done it at least once.  And it's hugely compelling on January 1.  This is the year!  This is the year I... (quit smoking, lose weight, go back to school, get a better job, clean out the garage, read War and Peace, join the gym and work out every single day).

And to be fair, some people succeed in fulfilling these grand dreams.  But the gym usually empties out by mid-February, and by November you can hear crickets chirping in the Weight Watchers meeting (I know. I'm a lifetime member and I've worked for Weight Watchers).  Of course, every January it's another new invasion of the resolutionary army.

So what's the difference between the ones who make it happen and the ones who don't?  Goal planning.  Not just goal setting, because it's as easy to "set a goal" as it is to say "this is the year."  If you want to achieve the goal, you need a strategy.

If you have a New Year's resolution this year, may I suggest you improve your odds by taking a few simple steps right now, while it's fresh in your mind?

Step One: apply the WAY-SMART goal test to your resolution.  Is it:

Written down?  It's amazing what power there can be in simply making the commitment in writing.

Aligned with your purpose?  How does this goal fit into your broader life aspirations?  Why is it important to you?

Yours?  As in, a goal that has meaning for you, rather than a passing fad or someone else's definition of what's right for your?

Specific?  How will you know you have achieved it?

Measurable?  Is there some quantifiable way to define the desired result?

Attainable?  Is it appropriate for you in light of the life you have now?

Realistically high?  Not too easy, but still manageable among your other commitments?

Time-based?  Have you set a date on which you will evaluate and decide if you have succeeded?

If your resolution passes this test, you're already well on your way to success. 

Step Two:  Decide on the immediate next action that will get you closer to your goal, and do it today.  A year flies by as life's adventures come at you thick and fast, and before you know it, the "last minute" will be here.  Don't wait until then -- as Stephen Covey says, "you can't cram on a farm."  Decide, each day, what action you must take today to get closer to your goal, and take that action.  If you do this every day, and the goal is clearly enough defined that you take the right steps, your success is virtually guaranteed.

Over the next couple of weeks, watch for more ideas on how to create a winning strategy for achieving your 2009 goals.

Happy New Year!